Originally Posted in December 2011. Little did I know that when I wrote this Post that the situation would continue throughout my writing life, even now after all these years.
What a battle I have had this last week. My Muse and Internal Editor (IE) have been battling it out all week. I have been working on Lesson 2 in my class this last week (more information to come on this in the next Post) and have had some real difficulties. I wanted to talk about this issue for a minute as it appears it is going to be an ongoing issue throughout the entire course, so you might want to get to know these two a little bit better.
To start with I wanted to mention that I had a couple of people who say that most people refer to an Internal Critic rather than an Internal Editor. And I almost used the term critic when I first started writing the blog but changed it (or my IE did). The Webster definition of a Critic is “a person who judges, evaluates, or criticizes”. Now I can see why some Writers might have an Internal Critic who evaluates and judges what they write and then criticizes it. And I guess I have some of this also (everyone does). However, I really think I have been infested with an Internal Editor instead. Webster defines an Editor as someone who edits and one definition, they use for Edit is “to revise or correct, as a manuscript” Which is more like what I have to deal with. This internal voice doesn’t really judge & criticize, which would at least give me a chance to argue with them, but they just change things on the fly (revise or correct). What normally happens is my Muse starts to write something and somewhere between the Muse and the paper the IE jumps in and takes over. Writing something appropriately proper or stops the writing all together to correct the Muse’s thoughts to make sure it is exactly right. Then my Muse just sulks and refuses to come up with any thoughts at all. Grrrrrr, it is so frustrating.
As you can see the IE is used to being in control. I guess this goes along with my organizational skills. Everything has its proper place and goes a specific way. And IE really doesn’t ask for approval, they just do whatever it is they think is best. On the other hand, my Muse just wants to be “FREE”. If they have a thought, even if it is a random thought, they want to feel free to use it. Organization is a four-letter word to my Muse (even though I told them it was 12 letters; they didn’t find it funny either 🙁 )
I have already had a couple of talks with these two and hope that by the time we complete Lesson 2 that we will have some compromise. And no, I am not schizophrenic. I do know that my Muse and IE are not actually two different people…they are both me. They just operate separately from each other, so I guess I am just mildly dealing with a split personality :-).
I will have an update on Lesson 2 in a couple of days. It has been a real eye-opener.